Selma Sue, Susan, Sue-Knee Muslim, Little Who.

Got home from work today, looked out at my dogs and at my 11 year old golden, who's been diagnosed with a mast cell tumor on her left hip that's gotten angry through some kind of allergic reaction that we've been treating to try to make it less angry (shrink) with steroids, benadryl and antibiotics. Well, there were dead skin cells on the surface, that decided something had to give and opened up into this gaping wound that was too much to bear. I freak out at the sight of it.

I go into panic mode when I see the hole in her leg dripping blood, I run upstairs, grabbing gauze & salve and some bandaging wrap. Ryan and I look at each other as every time I try to wrap it it falls off, exposing the hole again. We know in our hearts this is her last day, we start to think of ways to extend it, make it easy for her, there's nothing but calling the vet to help us solidify a plan. The wrap isn't staying secure, so the only thing I can think to do is give her something she loves, ice cream, on a hot, humid day; July 28th. Even after we get it wrapped around her waist, the damn thing falls off.

The vet says to come in, the boys, through their tears, hug & pet sue for the last time. It's just unbearable to watch their pain. Maxim loves Sue so much, he lays on her like a sofa and will cover her up with blankets to cuddle with her. I load Sue up in my car and we go...though the bandages fall off and the towels I have covering her seat are useless as she hops into my seat, as always. :) Gosh darn Susan. I get to the clinic where we talk about options. 1. Treat the open wound. 2. Cut it off, leaving her with a huge cut to heal and the vet being unsure if she'll get all of the cancerous parts off, or 3. Euthanasia. I said,  my husband and I have discussed it and at this point, we are not giving her a healthy life, we're trying to extend the time until her inevitable death, and she's in pain, though she smiles every day and tries to participate in the daily life in our home. The boys have been through so much, and if I take her home again, its just going to make it harder on them. We decide. It isn't over a half hour & sue gives out her last breaths and her heart stops. I bawl loudly and close her eyes, not trying to contain any of my sadness. The technicians tell me I can have as much time as I need to be with her. They tell me now she's not in pain, with huge painful cancer that must hurt her so badly. She's running and playing. It is a nice sentiment. I think of the good in her, of all of her wonderful qualities and how great she was as a companion to my family & I lose it. Grief can turn your cries into such animalistic, guttural sounds. Though we tease & joke that she's always been the ugly duckling, no animal has ever been so loyal, so sweet, just an overall great-natured animal that was just so joyous to be with her family.

We were talking about things to keep in our memories of Sue after I got home. Susan pranced when she went for walks, almost comically. Such a beautiful little walker. She would heal without ever being taught. She would always walk behind or run without pushing or dragging me. Susan never let Booker EVER fetch a stick on his own, and when she'd fight him for it, it was always in the opposite direction of where he was walking or swimming towards. She was very fast in her youth and a tiny, little spitfire. She hated when you touched her paws when she'd "shake," but treats are worth the awkward touch that she'd always back away from. She loved going out back to the creek with the boys & swimming and fetching sticks out there. She never let on that she was physically old, she pushed through, wagging, smiling, walking over chisel-plowed ground to the creek and beaver dam behind our house. She loved when we'd take her hunting pheasant and she was too excited for her own good and would get far ahead often. She'd play with us year round, even following the sleds in the winter time. She loved to swim, but mostly in blow up pools that she could destroy. She never once hurt a chicken, though she liked to pretend she might. She loved my sons, never bit at them or growled and accepted their love, no matter how heavy it was on her body when a 42+ lb maxim laid his entire body on her.

Susan was always happy to be apart of our family, and hasn't really been the same since Booker died because he led the pack. Its tough to lose such a wonderful girl, but I'm thankful to have had her blessing in my life. We'll miss you Sue and you'll forever be in my heart as a loyal, faithful, blessing of a companion.

Cinnamon Raisin Wheat Bagels

So...I've been learning how to make yogurt, yogurt cheese, etc. It is actually quite interesting & so very easy. I feel slightly like a mad scientist or a witch, working with live cultures & watching them convert my milk to beautiful yogurt.

I made my first small batch of yo-cheese yesterday, a huge amount of whey strained off of the yogurt in a towel, sitting over a strainer & voila, beautiful yo-cheese.

Well, when making yo-cheese, one must have something delectable to spread the light creamy mixture onto, so why not learn to make bagels? I found a very simple recipe, which I changed ever so slightly. I also learned the difference between a regular, soft pillow-y bagel & a New York bagel & what creates that chewy goodness  is merely 2 additional minutes in boiled water.

My recipe comes from "The Sophisticated Gourmet" who's basic bagel recipe is linked at the bottom.
My changes are inserted here:

Cinnamon Raisin Wheat Bagel Recipe

Ingredients:
2 teaspoons of active dry yeast
1 ½ tablespoons of brown sugar
1 ¼ cups of warm water 
3 cups of bread flour (will need extra for kneading)
1/2 cup of whole wheat flour
1 teaspoons of salt
1 tsp cinnamon (I"m sure you could also add nutmeg, cloves, cardamom, ginger, pumpkin pie spice...etc.)
3/4 C raisins, plumped back up in a cup of hot water (could also soak in warm rum...that would be extra special.)

FOR TOPPING:
Egg wash: 1 egg, 1 tbsp water, beaten slightly
Raw sugar & cinnamon to sprinkle.

Preparation:
1. Add yeast to warm water & stir, let sit while you add remaining ingredients to bowl of stand mixer fitted with a dough hook.
2. Make a well in the middle of dry ingredients and pour in the yeast mixture.
3. Depending on where you live, you may need to add anywhere from a couple tablespoons to about ¼ cup of water. You want to result in a moist and firm dough after you have mixed it. Mine was fine, in WI with the amounts listed here.
4. Knead the dough for about 10 minutes until it is smooth and elastic. Try working in as much flour as possible to form a firm and stiff dough. Remove from bowl and work with your hands about 12 turns.
5. Lightly brush the mixing bowl with oil (no need to dirty more dishes) and turn the dough to coat. Cover the bowl with a damp dish towel. Let rise in a warm place for 1 hour, preferably near the wood stove in your home, until the dough has doubled in size, 1 hour. Punch the dough down, and let it rest for another 10 minutes.
6. Carefully divide the dough into 8 pieces, the Sophisticated Gourmet uses a scale so they are all equal, I did not. Shape each piece into a round. Now, take a dough ball, and press it gently against the counter top (or whatever work surface you’re using) moving your hand and the ball in a circular motion pulling the dough into itself while reducing the pressure on top of the dough slightly until a perfect dough ball forms (as pictured below). Repeat with 7 other dough rounds.
 

7. Coat a finger in flour, and gently press your finger into the center of each dough ball to form a ring. Stretch the ring to about ⅓ the diameter of the bagel and place on a lightly oiled cookie sheet. Repeat the same step with the remaining dough.
8. After shaping the dough rounds and placing them on the cookie sheet, cover with a damp kitchen towel and allow to rest for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, preheat your oven to 425ºF.
9. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Reduce the heat. Use a slotted spoon or skimmer to lower the bagels into the water. Boil as many as you are comfortable with boiling. Once the bagels are in, it shouldn’t take too long for them to float to the top (a couple seconds). Let them sit there for 1 minute, and them flip them over to boil for another minute. Extend the boiling times to 2 minutes each, if you’d prefer a chewier bagel (results will give you a more New York Style bagel with this option).I think my family with their braces & baby teeth prefer the less chewy recipe. They are very soft & delicious.
10. Once all the bagels have boiled, brush with egg wash & sprinkle raw sugar & cinnamon over top of them.
11. Transfer them to a lightly oiled baking sheet. 
12. Bake for 20 minutes, until golden brown.
13. Cool on a wire rack.
Makes 8 medium-sized bagels
Recipe modified from The Sophisticated Gourmet

For all the kitties I can't take home...I got my Johnson's babypowder & Cool Water cologne

Been a while since I've written, holy man!

So my boys are growing at a rapid rate, time is flying, and I don't want to forget those ever special times and things they say and do that mean so very much. I'd like to write down little quips & funny things that happen, because lets be honest, my memory is not what it once was. Add to that the daily grind & distractions, it is easy to forget the precious moments that make our lives worth living. When times get us down, or when we just want to remember, I want to have this here for my family to talk about around camp fires while roasting s'mores.

The other night was hilarious. Ryan had Walter out shooting a long barreled .22 revolver with him. Daddy was controlling everything, but we just wanted to give the almost 4 year old a chance at what most kids don't get to experience at that age, let alone ever. Apples recently knocked to the ground by wild weather made good targets. Daddy set them up, like sasparilla bottles in a row, out back at our target shooting area. Side note, everyone should have one of these, they are a great stress relief. Daddy explained the dangers, as he will every time, discussed keeping your finger out of the trigger guard until ready, breathing, and held Walter's hands, helped him aim, and like I knew would happen, the boy had NO fear, absolutely none when squeezing the trigger.

Walter thought he was the biggest Man ever born, strutting around with pride. Discussing the cylinder and the barrel and how guns work with Daddy. Who has to interject a question, but his silly mom, who knows nothing of such things. I asked, "How did it go? Did the gun kick you?"

He says, without missing a beat, and giving me a face saying, You foolish girl, Momma,
"No, it doesn't have legs."

Daddy & Mommy both giggled under our breath and talked about it later, laughing at our bright son. We never want to forget, this silly, special Walter-ism. There will be many more to come.

Osceola to Dresser Pumpkin train...

Lots of fun. Hay maze, bouncy gym, haunted house, pumpkins, good food...and a broken down train that left us stranded there until 3 pm. We had fun though, very busy with all of the kids, but we think they had a really good time.

Walter got pooped out and actually fell asleep in my arms which was a first in a LONG time.

Chubby Winter Coat fun

Walter just started doing this scrunch faced smile that is just so funny to see. It will be in many pictures to come I know.

Well, it was a nice fall day last week and we decided we'd play outside. I didn't want him to get too cold though, so I put on his winter jacket. Pumpkin Head the 2nd came to be...

AuntHannah's return to Wisconsin

We had lots of fun with Nanners. She met Tucker Matthew for the first time, Rod's son. We hung out with Grandma G at the Senior Center in Ellsworth, and even got to Baypoint Park in Red Wing on a gorgeous afternoon.

We cooked a lot and made a giant muffin for Ryan on her last day visiting.

Uncle Rod put Walter on the slide for the first time. He didn't like it.

We put Walter on the swings for the first time also, not a fan.

He enjoyed eating rocks and climbing on the huge rocks that line the Mississippi River.

Ryan and I will miss her a lot. We had a really enjoy when she comes to stay.

Chilifeed

Wow, it's been a while. I have a lot of updating to do. We had our chilifeed / Walter's birthday party on October 4th, 2008. It was a lot of fun, and so many people came!

Walter and friends enjoyed painting pumpkins and eating paint. Checking out his Dad's Belarus tractor, and eating everything they could find. Grandma Linders won again this year. Rhonda Austin got second place, and Grandma Gert won 3rd place.

We also had a pinata that the kids liked. Their favorite candy was the wax dracula teeth.